The End to the Beginning

An ambulance arrives around 1:03am to the house of a dear friend.
Little did she know that this would be the end
The end to a friend whose loneliness consumed her.
No one can comprehend.

Those who loved her were baffled by her actions
Her actions for pain gave her temporary satisfaction.

She smiled on the outside
Her true feelings, she had to hide
Even though her friends were by her side
Oblivious to the feelings had to hide behind the smile from the outside
Alone she cried.

Everyone loved her, everyone cared
Her mistakes and decisions were too much for her to bare
At times she stared at the disorganized soul that she attempted to share.

But ha enough, the final straw
Her broken soul had never felt so raw.
The anguish she had began to gnaw
at her mind and soul that no one saw.

There was no other  way out of this mess.
As time went on, she never felt blessed,
but obsessed with this mess that left nothing but stress
This temporary action, she thought was the best.

She didn't think about her future
Or the longevity of her life.
Instead, on this day, she would end her life
by the dull blade of the knife.

Now they mourn
A family so torn.
Torn by the event that told by the scars she worn.

The Transition

I dreamed about you last night again. 

For what an odd place it was.

A place for transition to another location. 

Something we are both familiar of. 

A sandy, dark place with buildings made of metal 

Rooms separated by a thin, plastered wall. 

I went searching for you. 

We both knew we were near one another. 

The end was coming. 

We were about to depart soon. 

To places we never wanted to be at again. 

Tale-tell sign of how this ends. 

We weren't returning home with family and friends. 

This is the End

I guess this is it.
I guess it is good-bye.
These dreams that I hold on to,
tell me to try.

I cannot see you, hold you... too late.
No matter how many times I contemplate...
calling you.
Because everything is at stake.

 I do not want to jeopardize what we both have.
The life, the love, the good, and the bad.

I hope you read this, and never forget.
That we both said, we had no regrets.
Mistakes we both made, and, now, it comes to an end.
I say good-bye to you, my past friend. 

Another Night, Another Dream

I thought of you again last night
In this dream, we shared a bond so tight.
We talked until the night came to an end.
While we laughed as if we were best friends.

We smiled as the sun began to rise.
You finally said something to my surprise....
"If I may..."
Then I woke before you finished what you had to say......

Intensity of Feelings Left Unanswered

This gut wrenching feeling of betrayal consumed my mind.

I gave it all and have been lied to for the last time.

I feel so cold and angry....

but I did it to myself.

I told you everything in hopes that something can work,

but I was a foolish girl who believed in something that didn't work.

I want to cry...

why did I do this?

I knew it was wrong but I went for it anyways.

Thinking that you were different.

I was completely wrong...

There's nothing else.

I knew you leave soon and hoped that you may be with me

for a small amount of time before you head out.

I was only dreaming...

this wish will never come true.

I have given too much and will not allow that to happen again.

My heart is fragile and won't stand for it anymore.

I wish you the best...

May you be happy.

Themes and Ticking Clocks

I dream and dream and it never stops

The reoccurring themes, and the ticking clocks.

Hopes and inspirations seem in reach

I can only want is someone to want to teach.

Longing for the long drives at night

Just with the right

Music and memories to make...

Did I make a mistake?

Pondering over what can and will be.

I only wish that I could see

the memories that still haunt my being

which I wish these could be leaving.

It consumes my soul to where I don't want to let go.

all of them that really know.

Meaning, this music and I with the memories shared.

I still walk this path of the places not dared

Kiss Me

Speak to me sweetly,

Look me in the eyes.

Tell me you love me as time flies.

Kiss me gently, hold me so ever close.

I'll speak your name until the world knows.

How you brighten my day,

put a smile on my face

with the thought of you and your embace.

The day will come, and these dreams will be true.

In other words....

One of Many Remembered

Two in the morning, we drive to a place.
I fell asleep while you held a steady pace.
On arrival, we got out of the car.
Looking at the moon and the stars.
We head into the house, I fell asleep
You and your friend said hi and went to the beach.

Four in the morning, "Hunny, wake up."
"I need to show you something, please get up."
I get up so tired but wanting to see
what was so important to you that you wanted to share with me.
As we approached the beach, you said
"Hunny do you see that up ahead."
Oil Refineries on fire during the night.
I failed to see the what my love had in sight.
I looked again, and to my surprise.
Something spectacular that caught my eye.
Waves crashing, the wind blowing,
Blue light from the waves kept the water glowing.
That smile on your face, and the tone in your voice.
I am glad he made that choice,
so share something with me that he didn't want me to miss.
As we watched it, he turned and gave me a kiss.

I Have Waited Too Long

You expected things to last
but it doesn't.
the longer one waits
nothing shall ever show

What is this about me then?
I get things, but I am never satisfied.
All this I want to cry.

But how can I think of what is right?
I felt pulled away from my personality
I can enver really be the same

Something consumes my soul
that hole that couldn't be
filled with the possessions.
I have waited too long.

Nothing Will Suffice

I am so emotionally broken
I do not know what is what
Nothing will suffice

this emptiness I have
Shall be filled with
Nothing but my dark thoughts

The Friends I think I have
Do they honestly understand
How I see things

to the boyfriends that make
Me think has me listening
to his thoughts

For my heart beats
But is lonely
Isolated from the place